1. After reviewing the information about the drafting introduction on page 3, review your own intro and decide what you can do to:
a. more clearly show what is at stake for your issue
In my introduction, to more clearly show what is at stake, I can explain a better situation of what I am trying to get across.
b. more thoroughly contextualize your issue with background information (this is helpful for both intro and conclusion)
When I revise my paper, instead of only focusing on one main paint I can expand it to two or three.
c. write a few sentences for a. and b. that you will insert into your next draft.
Intelligence is defined by many characteristics. Such would would a person having common sense, book smarts, and also experience. These together form into the perfect scenario for an intelligent person to be recognized, but all in their own way.
Intelligence is defined by many characteristics. Such would would a person having common sense, book smarts, and also experience. These together form into the perfect scenario for an intelligent person to be recognized, but all in their own way.
2. Review your topic sentences of your body paragraphs:
a. Whether you are doing org. plan 1 or 2, your topic sentences should contain the criteria that you are discussing in the paragraph. (Review bottom of page 4 and all of page 5).
b. If you have any main topic sentences (do at least two here) that don’t contain the criteria of your definition that you are about to discuss in your paragraph, paste the old sentence, then write the revision of it that you will change in your next draft, like this:
i. OLD SENTENCE: YADDA YADDA
ii. NEW SENTENCE YADDA YADDA now with criteria clearly stated so we know what to expect out of this paragraph
i. OLD SENTENCE: Common sense is what people strive on to survive in this lifetime.
ii. NEW SENTENCE: To be able to survive in this lifetime, people must provide their own "common sense."
i. OLD SENTENCE: Book smarts are what have proceeded to be most important.
ii. NEW SENTENCE: In the economy today, jobs are more focused on a person's "book smarts."
3. Now, go through your body paragraphs and make sure that in the evidence sections of them, you are “developing” the criterion you are discussing, which means: explaining/defining each criterion for your definition. By the end of your paper, we should be able to tell a) your definitions, b) the criteria for those definitions, and c) the definitions of those criteria. (Look at page 5, description of BP1).
a. Find your shortest body paragraph. This is a quick way to determine which one needs more development.
b. Paste it in.
c. Then paste in a revision of it that contains more details and explanations of the criterion under discussion.
Books smarts are what has proceeded to be most important. Surely sitting in a classroom for 8 years, which is high school and college combined, would endure a person to be intelligent in all subjects. In high school everything is taught at a basic level, and when you make the transition to the college level, it gets much harder. The smarter a person is and the more they apply to their schooling and studies, the easier it is to make anything happen. This is required greatly in the quest for true intelligence.
Revised: In the economy today, jobs are more focused on a person's "book smarts." Surely sitting in a classroom for 8 years, which is high school and college combined, would endure a person to be intelligent in all subjects. In high school everything is taught at a basic level, and when the transition is made to the college level, it gets much harder. The smarter a person is the more they apply to their schooling and studies, the easier it is to make anything happen. This is required greatly in the quest for true intelligence. To apply one's self in their "book smarts," and also the majority of their time.
Books smarts are what has proceeded to be most important. Surely sitting in a classroom for 8 years, which is high school and college combined, would endure a person to be intelligent in all subjects. In high school everything is taught at a basic level, and when you make the transition to the college level, it gets much harder. The smarter a person is and the more they apply to their schooling and studies, the easier it is to make anything happen. This is required greatly in the quest for true intelligence.
4. Look over one of your rebuttal areas. If you have one (and you should; “considering the opposition” or “other viewpoints” is on the rubric) look for a way to revise it to be more developed, if you don’t have one, make one now to add into your next draft. Review page 6 and the ways that you 1) acknowledge opposition to your argument, 2) but prove how the opposition is not strong enough to invalidate your argument.
a. Paste in the old and new rebuttal sections
b. Or say that you hadn’t gotten around to that yet in your first draft and make one up now to include in your next draft.
For example, a person in the military does not start at the top, they begin at the bottom and make their way up using hands on experience to guide they’re way. Once they complete this, they are ready for the real fighting with great knowledge on how to survive. Also, the same thing can be specified with Athletic Training. A trainer must first learn how to practice the exercises themselves before being able to devise them for other people. Although, many people may not think that experience is needed to gain true intelligence, it is just good to have experience in anything.
For example, a person in the military does not start at the top, they begin at the bottom and make their way up using hands on experience to guide they’re way. Once they complete this, they are ready for the real fighting with great knowledge on how to survive. Also, the same thing can be specified with Athletic Training. A trainer must first learn how to practice the exercises themselves before being able to devise them for other people. Although, many people may not think that experience is needed to gain true intelligence, it is just good to have experience in anything.
Revised: For example, a person in the military does not start at the top, they begin at the bottom and make their way up using hands on experience to guide their way. Once they complete this, they are ready for the real fighting with great knowledge on how to survive. Also, the same thing can be specified with Athletic Training. A trainer must first learn how to practice the exercises themselves before being able to devise them for other people. Although, many people may not think that experience is needed to gain true intelligence, it is just good to have experience in anything. No one has gotten anywhere in this world, being opinionated, without any true intelligence. All good jobs call for it and it's what employers want out of their new "recruits."
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